I've had a few, fortunately relatively short, periods away from LJ in the past. They were all associated with restricted computer access - laptop died, moving/travelling/otherwise lacking Internet-I-could-come-here-with - and even though I missed LJ, there was always a brief but odd reluctance to come back. I knew I'd never catch up with things, whether fic or conversations or episode squee; it was easier to ignore it, for a little while longer. A day or two, at most, and then I'd accept that I was out of touch, check in with friends, read the latest, and move on.
This time, I dropped off the radar on July 25, and...just never came back.
I was tired. I was unhappy with my J2 big bang this year: I didn't have enough time or energy to devote to it, and I avoided it for too long after getting badly stuck, until I wrote probably half of it in a desperate last-minute struggle not to let my artist down, and it showed. To me, and to others, and I let a few negative comments get to me. I was struggling with other stuff I was supposed to write - still am /o\ - and there were some big things out in the real world I had to organize and deal with. LJ was mostly making me feel guilty, so I avoided it. As a result, the break caused by a brief internet-free vacation kept getting longer and longer, and it got harder and harder to come back.
A lot of the above is still true. I'm still struggling with writing, and with having time to write, and with reading anything at all. But I miss you guys. And today's my sixth anniversary on LJ, and the day I usually do an annual round-up, so here I am again. I hope can find a better balance in 2012.What I Did Last Year, by GwenSupernaturalsink or swim
- Sam/Dean, PG-13, ~3200 words. Written for apreludetoanend
.Involves a water elemental and angst. This took a long time to come together but I like the style of it: less dialogue, more description, and maybe darker/deeper than usual. Dolor Ibi Est
- Gen Sam & Dean, PG-13, ~8500 words. Written for de_nugis
in the ohsam
hurt/comfort challenge. I had fun with this one, both the plot and Dean's wild stories.put it in your pocket
- Sam & Dean, PG, ~1000 words. Written for the prompt "better with you" at silverbullets
. Because there's never enough stargazing.day springs eternal
- Sam/Dean, R, 1376 words. Written for the prompt "hope springs eternal" at spnspringfling
. Mystery Spot twist. Angst, but with a touch of hope. Dean keeps dying, and Sam keeps doing something stupid. I imagine everyone has to write Mystery Spot fic eventually.get outta the kitchen
- Sam/Dean, R, 2650 words. Written for dancetomato
. Sex pollen fic from Bobby's POV, with bonus!Castiel.This is far and away the most popular thing I have ever written. I'm glad it made so many people laugh! A companion piece from Dean's POV has been in the works for far too long. *apologies to DT*CW RPFGive A Dog A Bone
- J2 AU, PG-13, ~10K words. Written for j2_everafter
, loosely inspired by the Black Cauldron. Crack, mild schmoop, cliches, improbable science, Eilonwy!Jensen and Assistant Dogwalker Jared. Yeah.Black Flag Over Texas
- J2 AU, NC-17, ~32K words. Written for spn_j2_bigbang
.Prequel to last year's story Green Means Go. If you haven't read either and are considering them, I'd suggest starting with last year's. I think it's more enjoyable that way. Both involve suspense, hidden identities, dystopian politics and Jensen being awesome. Also explosions, if you like that sort of thing.Other:In Plain Sight
- Spike/Xander, ~850 words. Written for eyezrthewindows
.I wrote this in a fit of last-minute inspiration. It was nice to revisit these guys for a little while.
And finally, a snippet of Angel/JDM
, for laisserais
. I can't write either of these guys. Really. But somehow, they wanted to
brood at talk to fuck each other.
It turns out I wrote about as much this past year as I did the year before - all in the first half of the year! No wonder I burned out, I guess.
Incidentally, I did a year-in-review round-up last year
, which nobody commented on. This was only mildly surprising, and so it was not until some time later that I realized one contributing factor was that it was locked and misdated. *facepalm* Not that you don't already have a million things to read - I certainly do - but in case you're interested in what I wrote in 2010 and my thoughts on it, it's available.
See you around, I hope! ♥