Aw, you read it! :)
Thanks - and I'm delighted that you "got" what I was trying to convey at the end; for a bit I was afraid I'd made it a bit too obscure. And the fact that Buffy's setting out to be all heroic and self-sacrificing but she's most probably wrong sort of endeared her to me again.
Illyria and bleak just seem to go together. I don't think I can write her enjoying hot chocolate and marshmallows with Spike after saving the world.