ext_44432 ([identity profile] cordelianne.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] electricalgwen 2006-04-28 05:15 pm (UTC)

This is very well done! The subject is interesting and you have a wonderful use of language!

I really enjoyed how you employed rhyming (eg. say and decay). The imagery is very evocative.

This line has a wonderful rhythm:
Animal, vegetable. Elixir and poison.

This is a beautiful description:
Know his scent now, sunlight and new clean timber.

Very enjoyable! :)

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