electricalgwen: (Default)
electricalgwen ([personal profile] electricalgwen) wrote2007-06-11 12:42 pm
Entry tags:

apocaliffic

I'm happy today!

For some reason, this means I bring you a snippet of depressing, post-apocalypse fic from the "fics-I-will-never-write (except-apparently-I-will)" meme. For [livejournal.com profile] quinntzadok, who suggested Darkfic: post-S7 with any pairing, bonus for world endage and Buffy cutting off all her hair.

I think of the overall story as being S/X ('cause, y'know, it's me writing it *g*) but these 715 words (rated PG) are Xander & Buffy. Set in a future where the alley fight went badly, demons and vampires run amok and the humans are losing. Our crew are holed up somewhere with little food and no creature comforts, and Buffy has indeed cut off all her hair (before this scene) not in some Britney Spears-like moment of weirdness, but because there isn't any hot water and seldom any shampoo and it was always all matted and greasy and it turns out lice like Slayer blood as much as vampires do.


He knocked and waited for her tired "Come in" before pushing the door open. There wasn't much privacy around here; you safe-guarded what you could.

She gestured at the milk crate across from hers. "Any luck?”

“Not really.” He sighed. “We cleaned out the nest, but there were no supplies. Either the guys living there had run out by the time they were eaten, or the vamps are taking the stuff.”

“They don’t need food.”

“No, but they know that we do.”

She stared at him for a moment, then her head thunked back against the wall. “Great. Just what we needed. I like it better when they’re stupid.”

"Buff, I..."

He shoved the patch up on his forehead, rubbed nervously at the dry socket.

"I talked to Spike again."

He held up a hand to forestall her.

"We don't have enough food. Or water. We aren't gaining any ground, and the fights get tougher as we get weaker. We're going to lose someone very soon."

She looked at her feet.

"This is the best way. We save on rations, you get a stronger fighter." A bitter half-laugh escaped. "Two, actually - Spike'll get a decent meal for once."

A tear made a small splat next to her foot. She didn't look up.

"Buff?" He reached out, squeezed her knee.

"I can't do this," she said, very quietly. "I can't ask you to do this."

"You're not -"

"It betrays everything we're fighting for!"

"It allows us to keep fighting." He took a deep breath. "Buffy. You've always had to fight, and it's never been fair, but it's what you do. What we do. And it's hardest on you because you're the leader, but you are the best leader we could hope for. You make tough decisions all the time. Let me make this one for you. Just... don't say no."

More tears joined the first.

"What did Spike say?" she said finally.

"Actually," Xander said slowly, "he told me an interesting story. About the Second World War."

"What, about his heroic record eating Nazis?"

"About this time that Angel turned a soldier under his command. Because the guy was dying and he was needed for a job, to save a lot more lives. Needs of the many."

"You're not dying."

"That's not the point. Besides, we're all dying, Buff." He gestured at the blacked-out window. "Ironically, this gives me a better chance than most."

She gripped his hand so hard his fingers blanched. "It should be me."

"What? No!" He ducked his head, met her eyes. "You are the leader. You have to stay human. You hold us together.” He gingerly wiggled his fingers; she looked down and let go with a grimace. "The Original Slayer - often imitated, never duplicated."

Her eyes filled up again. “Just promise me you’ll keep your sense of humor.”

“Hey, that’s unkillable.” He took a deep breath. “And promise me – promise me you and Spike’ll do what you have to. If Lena doesn’t manage the resouling spell.”

“What – Lena? Why would she be doing it? Willow’ll be here in an instant when we call her!”

“I don’t want her to do it.”

Buffy wrinkled her forehead. “Xander – she’s the best.”

“I know. But I don’t want her wasting the energy on transport, she’s needed where she is, and…” he hesitated over the next words, “I don’t want her to know. Until it’s done.”

“She won’t – Xander, she’d want to – ”

“No. Lena can do it. She’s capable, and she’s here. Willow left the Orb in her stuff.”

“Will’s not going to like it.”

“And that wins the prize for understatement of the year.” Xander scrubbed at his eye again. “But if she were here, she’d stop me. Stop Spike. And Buffy – you know it’s the right decision.”

She closed her eyes, nodded.

“I know. I just wish – I was seriously scary as a vampire, Xander. I wish I could do this instead of you.”

He nodded. “You were Giles’ worst nightmare, and you were scary, all right.” He pulled her into a hug. “But, Buff? You, now, just as you are – you are their nightmare.”

She choked out a laugh. “I definitely look a fright.”

He hugged her harder. “Shut up, beautiful.”


Hope you're happy today too. :)

[identity profile] hotspur18.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 12:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Just wonderful. God, I love the way you use language, it just flows!

:-) xx

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:42 am (UTC)(link)
*blush* Thanks so much!

[identity profile] spuffyduds.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is beautifully written, and makes a horrible amount of SENSE.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm glad to hear you thought it made sense - it seems a logical sacrifice, though terrible to have to contemplate.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2007-06-11 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh. Yeah, that's very...heavy. Sad and hard. But Xander! You'll be okay, Spike's there...

Nice stuff.
:)

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:46 am (UTC)(link)
Well, yeah - if it's an S/X story, then it's not all doom and gloom... ;)
Thanks!

[identity profile] shinodabear.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I love this. Especially the mention of Lawson, 'cause it just felt right to make everyone feel better about the situation, the whole "it's happened before" thing. Nice.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:48 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I'm glad that allusion worked for you - and Xander is an informed volunteer, which is a key difference.

[identity profile] kenyacandoit.livejournal.com 2007-06-11 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! This is so interesting already, a really different take on post S7. Can't wait for more.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, that's really nice to hear!
I'm not sure if there will be more or not. This meme was originally meant just for writing little excerpts (Name or describe three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them) but it seems to have expanded - in an attempt to figure out *how* I could write "stuff I never would", I've ended up creating a whole workable scenario in my head for each, and at least one seems set to turn into a proper fic. This one might too, if I have time...

[identity profile] eyezrthewindows.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, that's so bleak and dark and GOOD.

Can't help but want more, LOL.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 09:53 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! I'm not sure there will be more, but there might - this meme was a bad idea, I'm now working on at least two fics I really didn't think I would ever write! ;)

[identity profile] eyezrthewindows.livejournal.com 2007-06-14 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! I'm not sure there will be more, but there might - this meme was a bad idea, I'm now working on at least two fics I really didn't think I would ever write! ;)

LOL. Isn't that the way it always happens?

For me it was Kissing Cousins. That first ficlet? Was all there was supposed to be and just look at it, lmao.
ext_30824: (Default)

[identity profile] apreludetoanend.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 10:02 am (UTC)(link)
Orb! *g* No, okay, I really liked this, and I think you should continue it. I know post-apocalypse was never your thing, but this has a great tone, and it's an interesting idea, and I'd definitely like to continue reading.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-12 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Ack, I can't have all these snippets turn into actual fics! I can't even manage to finish the ones I'm supposed to be writing now! *jitters*
But it's great to hear that you like it, despite the lack of orbs (brown or otherwise). ;)

[identity profile] savoytruffle.livejournal.com 2007-06-14 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
i really enjoy the dynamic here and the way you've brought out the emotion without overplaying the angst. nicely done.

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-06-15 01:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! :)

[identity profile] brunettepet.livejournal.com 2007-06-28 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
This was fantastic. You painted a post-apocalyptic nightmare world with sharp, vivid language. Xander choosing to be vamped for the greater good is an excellent, in character plot device. Every action and reaction was in voice and in character. I'd love to read more of this 'verse, if there's going to be more. Do you mind if I friend you to keep up?

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!
It's great to hear you found it believable - I do think that a sacrifice like this would be in-character for Xander (especially late-season Xander).
I certainly don't mind being friended! :) I'm not writing/posting quite as often these days due to RL demands, but I have some stuff in the works. I suspect there may be more of this story eventually. I found that with this meme, I couldn't bring myself to write any of the "will-not-write" ideas in mockery or bad!fic style; instead I had to work the idea around to a point where I could believe it.

[identity profile] quinntzadok.livejournal.com 2007-07-26 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
This is wonderful, and gives me all sorts of glowy-ness to know my prompt, er, prompted it. :) And, I must say, Buffy with no hair and Xander calling her beautiful made my day. Thanks!

[identity profile] electricalgwen.livejournal.com 2007-09-03 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :)