Oh! Yay! This is soooo awesome!! You've so wonderfully captured Gwen and her desire to be touched.
I love how it starts, and that "Again" and "Alone" are each a sentence, it so nicely emphasizes her solitary state.
The repetition of "cling" for both women and men is really cool, especially with how it's used for the different meanings. I adore this description, lovely: Their gazes stab and prickle like daggers, like tiny wasp stings embedded in her skin.
And the alliteration in these sentences have me swooning, especially the similar sounds within the words: Some slither, suck at her, make her skin crawl. Others caress, promise passion. Futile promises. They have no idea. And that last line is killer!
And sure, her vibrator never needs batteries, but that’s little consolation. I love the transition from "glances" to "plastic" and her vibrator. I love that her vibrator doesn't need batteries because of course it doesn't!
And those last 2 sentences are just awesome. I love the plastic spoon breaking suggesting how the plastic just isn't strong enough for her.
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Date: 2006-06-22 12:08 am (UTC)I love how it starts, and that "Again" and "Alone" are each a sentence, it so nicely emphasizes her solitary state.
The repetition of "cling" for both women and men is really cool, especially with how it's used for the different meanings. I adore this description, lovely:
Their gazes stab and prickle like daggers, like tiny wasp stings embedded in her skin.
And the alliteration in these sentences have me swooning, especially the similar sounds within the words:
Some slither, suck at her, make her skin crawl. Others caress, promise passion. Futile promises. They have no idea. And that last line is killer!
And sure, her vibrator never needs batteries, but that’s little consolation. I love the transition from "glances" to "plastic" and her vibrator. I love that her vibrator doesn't need batteries because of course it doesn't!
And those last 2 sentences are just awesome. I love the plastic spoon breaking suggesting how the plastic just isn't strong enough for her.
Thanks so much! I love it! *g*