Last year, dancetomato very kindly bid on me and won in my only charity fic offer to date. She also graciously accepted that I wouldn't be working on it until after spn_j2_bigbang drafts were due. And then I got really stuck on what I was trying to write her, and then I had to get the actual bigbang fic up, and then I hit a black hole and disappeared.

DT, I'm so sorry. I'm taking babysteps back here. I still want to finish the fic in question, but I offer this in the meantime, in the hopes that messy blow-job PWP is relevant to your interests. (Originally sparked by a prompt in a kink meme, asking for poet!Misha and fan!Jensen, but I didn't finish it on time. Spot the pattern.) ~3K words, NC-17 rating, standard disclaimers apply. Graciously beta'd by laisserais.

( came for the poetry, stayed for the porn )

I've had a few, fortunately relatively short, periods away from LJ in the past. They were all associated with restricted computer access - laptop died, moving/travelling/otherwise lacking Internet-I-could-come-here-with - and even though I missed LJ, there was always a brief but odd reluctance to come back. I knew I'd never catch up with things, whether fic or conversations or episode squee; it was easier to ignore it, for a little while longer. A day or two, at most, and then I'd accept that I was out of touch, check in with friends, read the latest, and move on.

This time, I dropped off the radar on July 25, and...just never came back.

I was tired. I was unhappy with my J2 big bang this year: I didn't have enough time or energy to devote to it, and I avoided it for too long after getting badly stuck, until I wrote probably half of it in a desperate last-minute struggle not to let my artist down, and it showed. To me, and to others, and I let a few negative comments get to me. I was struggling with other stuff I was supposed to write - still am /o\ - and there were some big things out in the real world I had to organize and deal with. LJ was mostly making me feel guilty, so I avoided it. As a result, the break caused by a brief internet-free vacation kept getting longer and longer, and it got harder and harder to come back.

A lot of the above is still true. I'm still struggling with writing, and with having time to write, and with reading anything at all. But I miss you guys. And today's my sixth anniversary on LJ, and the day I usually do an annual round-up, so here I am again. I hope can find a better balance in 2012.


What I Did Last Year, by Gwen

Supernatural

sink or swim - Sam/Dean, PG-13, ~3200 words. Written for apreludetoanend.

Involves a water elemental and angst. This took a long time to come together but I like the style of it: less dialogue, more description, and maybe darker/deeper than usual.


Dolor Ibi Est - Gen Sam & Dean, PG-13, ~8500 words. Written for de_nugis in the ohsam hurt/comfort challenge.

I had fun with this one, both the plot and Dean's wild stories.


put it in your pocket - Sam & Dean, PG, ~1000 words. Written for the prompt "better with you" at silverbullets.

Because there's never enough stargazing.


day springs eternal - Sam/Dean, R, 1376 words. Written for the prompt "hope springs eternal" at spnspringfling.

Mystery Spot twist. Angst, but with a touch of hope. Dean keeps dying, and Sam keeps doing something stupid. I imagine everyone has to write Mystery Spot fic eventually.


get outta the kitchen - Sam/Dean, R, 2650 words. Written for dancetomato. Sex pollen fic from Bobby's POV, with bonus!Castiel.

This is far and away the most popular thing I have ever written. I'm glad it made so many people laugh! A companion piece from Dean's POV has been in the works for far too long. *apologies to DT*


CW RPF

Give A Dog A Bone - J2 AU, PG-13, ~10K words. Written for j2_everafter, loosely inspired by the Black Cauldron.

Crack, mild schmoop, cliches, improbable science, Eilonwy!Jensen and Assistant Dogwalker Jared. Yeah.


Black Flag Over Texas - J2 AU, NC-17, ~32K words. Written for spn_j2_bigbang.

Prequel to last year's story Green Means Go. If you haven't read either and are considering them, I'd suggest starting with last year's. I think it's more enjoyable that way. Both involve suspense, hidden identities, dystopian politics and Jensen being awesome. Also explosions, if you like that sort of thing.


Other:

In Plain Sight - Spike/Xander, ~850 words. Written for eyezrthewindows.

I wrote this in a fit of last-minute inspiration. It was nice to revisit these guys for a little while.

And finally, a snippet of Angel/JDM, for laisserais.

I can't write either of these guys. Really. But somehow, they wanted to brood at talk to fuck each other.


It turns out I wrote about as much this past year as I did the year before - all in the first half of the year! No wonder I burned out, I guess.

Incidentally, I did a year-in-review round-up last year, which nobody commented on. This was only mildly surprising, and so it was not until some time later that I realized one contributing factor was that it was locked and misdated. *facepalm* Not that you don't already have a million things to read - I certainly do - but in case you're interested in what I wrote in 2010 and my thoughts on it, it's available.

See you around, I hope! ♥

Title: Black Flag Over Texas
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~32,000 words

Summary: Jensen belongs to a team of mercenary vigilantes that is trying to stop a group of anarchists whose goal is the dissolution of the USA. They get information that a student group on UT Dallas campus is harboring at least one of the major players, and Jensen is assigned to an undercover mission to infiltrate the group.

His first day on campus, he meets a final-year PhD student named Jared who would be exactly Jensen’s type – if he weren’t a prime suspect. Move by move, like chess pieces, actions escalate, and the stakes get higher. Jensen and his colleagues are dealing with computer espionage, bombings, and kidnapping threats, as the institutions of government waver around them, threatening to fall. Ultimately, Jensen is forced to make a choice that pits revenge and love against the greater good.

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction.

Warnings: Violence, language, sex under the influence of chemicals, discussion of politics.

Author's Notes: Written for the 2011 round of spn_j2_bigbang. Art by ladytiferet, who was a real pleasure to work with and put up with my last-minute flailing with great aplomb and grace. Big hugs are due to laisserais and dancetomato for beta-reading and fixing all my non-American vocabulary. Any remaining errors are of course entirely my fault (and please do let me know about them!) And of course, many thanks to wendy and thehighwaywoman for all their work in coordinating this amazing event.

This is set in the same universe as last year's story Green Means Go. It is a prequel, but both stories stand alone, and may be read in either order.

spnspringfling reveals are up! Reposting the story I wrote for the prompt "hope springs eternal," which turned out to be for inalasahl. Sam/Dean, rated R, 1376 words, usual disclaimers apply.

Notes: Set during Mystery Spot, so a warning for multiple character deaths, but ALSO warning for suicide (though that also doesn't last.) Angst, but not without a touch of hope. (I think I am constitutionally incapable of writing an actual unhappy ending.)

Summary: Tuesday after Tuesday, Dean keeps dying, and Sam keeps doing something stupid. The odds are against him, but Sam can't stop himself from hoping.

( Some things you can reset. Some things you can't. )

I was fortunate enough to win longsufferingly's fic auction for help_japan. I suggested a few prompts, including J2 AU inspired by Asimov's Caves of Steel series. She took that one and ran with it and did her usual phenomenal job, despite never actually having read Asimov. Look What They Made has a fantastic Jensen POV, good plot, and exploration of some classic sci-fi ideas. I love it. :)


madame_meretrix is clever. (She's also kind and funny and makes a great tour guide, but that's not quite as relevant right now.) Her fics often have a reality to them that set them apart. You may not be able to put your finger on exactly what gives them that ring of truth, because she doesn't beat you over the head with gender theory or identity issues or what have you; rather, she tells a compelling story and lets the characters unfold themselves naturally. (You may realize, later on, that you learned something, but it will be a pleasant surprise.)

She does self-discovery particularly well. If you missed Take the Hit last year, in which Jared learns that everyone has some kind of baggage, it's just a matter of how you learn to let it go, you should remedy that. And this year, her spn_j2_bigbang story Don't Hide Your Light gives us a Jensen who's known Jared all his life, but doesn't really know himself. It is a lovely read and has it all: good characterization, moments of hilarity and delight, enough angst to be real and interesting, enough schmoop to satisfy [me, anyway], hot sex, and a fun supporting cast (which, naturally, includes JDM since this is Meretrix we're talking about. ;)

I never usually participate in comment fic memes, mostly because they're generally done and dusted by the time I become aware of them. But no longer!

There are tons of fun prompts here:



Go! Laugh! Cringe! Write! :)

Apparently LJ has been under some kind of DDoS? And has been down a lot? I completely failed to notice, that's how busy the last ten days have been. ARGH.

Somebody must have vidded SPN to INXS's "Devil Inside," y/y? Because OMG DO WANT.

OH MY GOD.

Artificial leaf could be more efficient than the real thing.

Small, green, efficiently converts solar power to electricity. One of them could power your house.

Anyone who read that story and said, "Wow, I wish the cube existed," there you are.

My mind is blown. :D